Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
