Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
