i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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