community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize