My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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