Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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