So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
