she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize