In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
