You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
