I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
