oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
