Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
