You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
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My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
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Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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