Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize