There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
