If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
