I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
