I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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