We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Your mouth is God's brothel.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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