you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize