If i come over, it means nothing
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
