I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize