Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
