Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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