Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
