her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
