I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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