Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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