I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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