As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
