Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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