my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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