I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
