Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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