If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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