Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Couch. On fire.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize