Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
