Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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