other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
