Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
