Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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