We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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