if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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