So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
