PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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