There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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