i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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