Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
