apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
