Yo dont text me then not text me
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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