Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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